Signs that Your Girlfriend Isn't Sexually Attracted to You

Being intimate with your girlfriend can significantly help you strengthen the bond with one another. And sex is a sacred act between two people who love each other.

17 Oct 2022 INSIGHTS

Being intimate with your girlfriend can significantly help you strengthen the bond with one another. And sex is a sacred act between two people who love each other.

However, her lack of sexual passion or desire can signify that your girlfriend is not sexually attracted to you. 

Nothing sensual has happened between you two in a long time; she no longer kisses you or puts her arm around your waist. However, it's normal to feel uneasy when your relationship undergoes even minor changes. Even for committed couples, intimacy can be challenging at times. 

However, if you two have been together for a while, it’s easy to spot a switch in your partner’s behaviour. After all, you’re used to each other’s quirks, especially if you’ve moved in together. That said, it’s challenging to point out the issue clearly, but you feel like something is off.

In this article, let’s discover 11 signs that your girlfriend isn’t sexually attracted to you. 

1. She Doesn’t Flirt Back

Girls flirt because they like attention. Hence, flirting is one of the most obvious signs that she's attracted to you. Let’s look at some signs that she’s flirting with you:

  • She smiles genuinely.
  • You can feel her excitement when you’re around her.
  • She takes her time to look and smell good.
  • You catch her playing with her hair, caressing her neck, biting her lips, or glancing occasionally.
  • She doesn’t hesitate to touch you.
  • If she’s the shy type, she may be fidgeting.
  • Either she talks a lot or asks many questions.
  • She mirrors your body language.
  • She gives you opportunities to flirt with her.

If she doesn’t do any of the above, it’s time to have a discussion.

2. She Always Find Reasons to not be Alone with You

Women are exceptionally good at getting what they want, including getting alone time with the man she finds attractive. If your girlfriend does these, she may not be that interested in getting sexual with you:

  • Reject your invitation to come over to your house.
  • You only want to hang out in your home in a group setting.
  • Leave the room with everybody and not stay behind with you.

There are reasons why she does what she does. 

One of the most common reasons is that she’s not ready for it. If that’s the case, being a supportive boyfriend will help ease her up. However, it may also be possible that while she enjoys your company and loves hanging out with you, she’s not willing to invest in any sexual relationship.

3. They Love Quality Time but Refrain from Having some “Fun”

You and your partner may have a lot of exciting dates. A picnic at the park, going for a quiet walk in the evening, or cafe hopping and talking about the TV show you’re currently binging. However, you both separate ways when it’s late. 

You sure tried one, two, or fifteen times inviting her over. Suppose she always looks pretty creative in making excuses to avoid it. In that case, you’re probably not the guy she’d like to sleep with. 

4. She Doesn’t Make an Effort in the Bed

The switch we mention early on is pretty easy to spot in the bed. If she used to go crazy about you and then turned into someone who lies and makes no effort, then something is off.

Among the common causes for this issue is that she’s tried multiple times hinting that she changed her mind. She doesn’t find you sexually appealing anymore, but you haven’t been paying attention to it. 

For this, you may want to sit down and think about what you missed that resulted in her worn-out sexual desire. Here are some signs to watch out for:

  • She no longer cares.
  • She stops complimenting your appearance.
  • She forces her smile.

Then you can spend some time discussing solving the issue.

5. She Prefers Doing it Herself than Having Sex 

There’s nothing wrong with doing it solo. Even when you’re in a committed relationship, choosing it over having sex is perfectly normal. What’s not is when you find your partner makes masturbation a recurring habit but doesn’t want to engage in a sexy time with you.

This means that her sex drive is still on, which is an obvious sign that she’s no longer sexually attracted to you.

6. She Pulls Away When You’re Being a bit Physical

As vital as sexual intimacy is to your relationship, there are many other ways in which two people can become physically intimate with one another that can strengthen that relationship even further. Physical intimacy can be in the form of embracing each other, holding hands, kissing, and cuddling. 

Since she is your significant other, you naturally want to shower her with kisses and cuddles. You want to be close to your girlfriend, even for a second, so that you can hug her and kiss her. However, her body language is not precisely showing so much excitement when you go in for a hug or a kiss. You immediately notice there’s tension in her body. She pulls herself back and doesn't let you get too close to her.

As soon as you enter a room, she immediately avoids you. When you take the lead and approach her, she retreats and maintains her distance. You can tell she gives you the cold shoulder if you try to get closer to her. Your girlfriend is acting distant when she avoids any form of physical touch with you.

7. You Are Always the One Initiating Everything

Generally, most of us initiate sex more often. But if you feel like there are some changes in how you and your partner engage in sexual activity, take some time to think about the last time she initiates a sexy night for you two. 

You can also almost tell when she’s avoiding her usual triggers. For example, you know she’s sensitive around her neck, but she dodges it whenever you reach for it. Or when she chooses to be on the other part of the couch instead of cuddling with you.

Maybe the sex drive isn’t syncing up; maybe she’s tired of it; perhaps she’s concerned about her reputation – almost all women experience this feeling at least once in their lifetime. If she’s worried about that, try to comfort and show her you got her back.

8. Conversations Are Buddy-Like

So maybe she's not entirely ignoring you, but you still don't feel like you're in a relationship. She treats you more like a friend than a partner when she interacts with you. You no longer hear her share any candid and personal opinions, only generic topics. 

On top of that, she is always up for some light conversation about life at the office, her friends, the weather, or even sports. However, she is likely to avoid or shut down if you try to talk to her about the state of your relationship or maybe your plans for the future together. 

While you may still have casual conversations and hang out together, there may not be as much motivation for you to engage each other in deeper topics, share intimate moments, or even attempt something new.

9. She Doesn’t Come

It’s well-known that women often fake their orgasms. The most common reason for this behaviour is their desire to boost their partner’s confidence and masculinity. However, faking orgasms can also signify that a woman doesn’t find her partner sexually attractive anymore. 

If you suspect it happens to you, you may notice a change in her voice when she moans. It can be a bit forced and unnatural. On top of that, if you’ve heard “Hurry up!”, “Have you come yet?” or “It’s okay; I don’t need to climax.” It adds to everything.

On a side note, health issues and mental blocks are the top reasons for people not reaching orgasms. Hence, always take the time to communicate with your partner to find the best possible solution.

10. She Goes to Bed Before You

Time is something that most of us struggle to find more of during the day. We're too preoccupied with our jobs, school, or other commitments to comment. Hence, sex and other intimate activities typically take place at night. 

However, your girlfriend may be avoiding you if she insists on an early bedtime every night and always manages to get to bed before you. This is another sign why your girlfriend is not sexually attracted to you. 

11. She Told You She’s Not Into It

There’s nothing more evident than a woman who openly tells you she’s not sexually attracted to you. If your girlfriend brings this up after several failed sex attempts, don’t blame yourself. 

She may be asexual and tried her best to leave her comfort zone. She may also be under medication which causes her libido to fluctuate. Whichever the answer, it’s essential that you both address the problem.

Final Words

Those are 11 behaviours signalling that your girlfriend has lost sexual attraction to you. If you’ve been stressing out about it, bringing the issue up in conversation is a significant step.

It sure is one of the most challenging subjects to talk about, demoralising even. But taking the time to sit down and solicit her say in the matter helps break the what-ifs. 

Refrain from using blaming language like “I feel that you don’t care about me.”, “You drive me crazy.”, and “Stop being a bitch.” Instead, use strong and responsible language, such as “I feel disconnected from you.” and “What can I do to improve it?”

All in all, relationships of all kinds go through ups and downs. The same goes for sexual activity. When your sex life has become a routine, it’s easy to get bored. Therefore, don’t forget to spend some more time alone, schedule an intimate evening, and try new things now and then.


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