When it comes to sex, relationships are a two-way street. It's easy to feel anxious and frustrated in the bedroom if no one else is making any attempts to get your attention or make a move on the situation. Hence, it is essential to let your partner know what's going on if you don't want those feelings to spiral out of control.
So, how do you ask your partner to do more of the initiating when it comes to sex? It is not an easy subject to bring up, especially if you and your partner are not used to discussing your sexual life freely.
Start slow
Start by always taking it easy and start small. Don’t just get to third base immediately. Hold hands, give each other compliments, tell them they are desirable, often cuddle, slowly build up your way there, anything that would bring comfort and warmth to the bed.
Set the ambience
It's impossible to become aroused in a messy and brightly lit area. A pile of work documents on the nightstand and the news on the TV in the room won't help create a sexy ambience either. Your partner will be less likely to become turned on and initiate sex if the bedroom is uninviting. Hence, ambience significantly impacts the level of intimacy that can be achieved. Light up some candles and use aromatherapy based on your partner’s favourite scent, like lavender, vanilla, or jasmine.
Straight to the point
Once you feel comfortable enough with your partner, it is safe to say that you both are confident enough to proceed. The thing is, subtlety has never really helped anyone; instead of making indirect comments or critics, be bold. If you feel like getting intimate, talk to your partner about it, see how they respond to your mood, and respect the feedback whether they’re down for it.
Get touchy
If words don’t suit you well and talking about sex makes things awkward instead of getting things going, then you can use the power of your hands. Be touchy with your partner’s parts and begin to whisper sweet things in their ear. Be creative, lead your partner to the top of the bed and the whole intimate and passionate skin-to-skin contact.
Dress up
Talking about clothes, the way you dress will affect intimacy, especially after the honeymoon phase is over, as things may start to become vanilla. Therefore, you’ve got to spice things up a little bit. Wear your best tight suit, costume, silky pyjamas, robe etc.
Role play
Also, you can spice things up by bringing one of their sexual fantasies to life. Channel your adventurous self and be wild! Play a character that your partner wishes you want to be.
Be active and get moving.
Once you have decided to initiate sex with your partner, be sure to own it. You have to be active and enthusiastic. Show them that you are really into it. Be eager, use your hands, get on top, take charge and enjoy yourself.
Schedule it
It may not sound like the sexiest thing, but scheduling your “fun time” can be hot. It takes all the pressure out of the argument because no one has to initiate, and there is no potential rejection. Mark the time and date, and while you’re at it, connect with your partner non-sexually to keep your intimacy levels healthy.
Initiating sex won’t always be the same as your relationship grows. Reassess your approach for better sex and growth as a couple. Intimacy requires coordination; remember, “it takes two to tango”!
Contrary to what many might think, it does not happen magically. Both parties need attention to every detail, so make sure you move in ways each person likes to experience sex. Open up to communication and be connected. Nobody wants to go on with a one-sided conversation.