Having a healthy relationship with porn

By Dr Chopra

As Optimale Health’s resident doctor, I often have patients tell me they are experiencing symptoms of PE or ED with their partner, but not when engaging with porn.

1 Apr 2022 GUIDES

By Dr Chopra

As Optimale Health’s resident doctor, I often have patients tell me they are experiencing symptoms of PE or ED with their partner, but not when engaging with porn.

Engaging with porn is healthy and completely normal. It can be beneficial for your sexual health and help to overcome some of the sexual dysfunction symptoms you may experience in the bedroom.

But to make sure there isn’t a disconnect between your partner and the porn you engage in, I’ve provided below some helpful tips on ensuring you have a healthy relationship with porn and new experiences in the bedroom.

Watch porn with your partner

Enjoying and understanding what you both like together can be a positive experience. This might open new avenues, start new conversations, and understand how you can both be happier with your sexual experiences. Of course, watching porn can also be an individual experience that you enjoy yourself, but making sure it doesn’t become so isolated that it never involves your partner can be important for intimacy.

Make sure you have realistic expectations

Sometimes porn can create unrealistic expectations of sexual experiences. It’s important to understand exactly what your partner and you both like and understand that everyone is different. Don’t be caught up on length of time or looks, and just make sure you are present with your partner. I often have patients tell me they don’t last long enough, but their expectations are held to something they have watched where the experience is 20-30 minutes long. In fact, the average length of time is around 7-10 minutes.

Try not to directly mimic behavior

Like setting realistic expectations, make sure that you’re not directly mimicking behavior in the porn you watch and applying it in the bedroom. Sometimes it doesn’t always work out that way, and it’s important to understand what your partner likes.

Keep communication open

Make sure you are always voicing to your partner any concerns and check in with how they are going too. It might be beneficial to ease into the process of watching together, and maybe even having a conversation of what you both like beforehand.

Don’t make it the main event

When watching with your partner, make sure its an addition to your sex life, and not the main event. After all, watching porn together can bring you closer together more intimately, so focus on the two of you and not what you’re watching. You don’t need to directly recreate scenarios unless you would both like to.

Try different mediums

Consider exploring literature or audio content as well as videos. Not everyone enjoys watching directly, so speak to your partner about how they might like to enjoy the content.

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